The following interview with the Future will take place later this week.  Special thanks go to Time, who granted the Pitt News a waver on its general principles for the purposes of prompt publication.

RI:  It's a great honor to be talking with you, Mr. Future.

FUT:  Please, the Future is fine.  I'm not gender-specific, you know.

RI:  Of course.  Now you've earned a lot of attention in recent months, from around the world.  A lot of people are concerned about what you're planning in the next millennium.

FUT:  That's a little misleading.  People are always worried about what I've got up my sleeve.  They've been hounding me on the subject for eons.

RI:  So being afraid of the Future isn't unusual?

FUT:  Fear is pretty standard, yes, but I'm not used to this level of fear.  Nowadays I've got billions on my case.  "Will there be an earthquake?"  "Will you bring pestilence?"  "Are all those prophecies true?"

RI:  So, are they right?

FUT:  All I can say is this: I'm not a terrorist.  I've been working this job since the Big Bang, I've never missed a deadline, and I've always tried to be fair.  I have to provide the universe with a direction, using a little predestination here, a little Chaos Theory there.  How should I know if there's going to be a hurricane in the Caribbean next March?  Here I'm maintaining the whole space time continuum, and people are asking me about the meteorological patterns on one tiny planet.  For crying out loud, watch the Weather Channel!

RI:  So there's no reason to worry?

FUT:  Well I wouldn't go that far.  I'm just saying that people overestimate me.  I pave the path, and then it's Present that walks on it.

RI:  So if something goes wrong, we should blame the Present?

FUT:  I think the Present has a tough job, so don't be too hard on it.  But yes, people should think more about the Present, in my opinion.  That's where all the problems are.  And all the virtues, too.

RI:  Virtues?

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